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Beach Time in China

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Cat Pictures

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Dog Pictures

 

Funny Signs

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Funny Story about a Vet School

> First-year students at Texas A&M’s Vet School were receiving their first
anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery
table with the body covered with a white sheet.
> The professor started the class by telling them, “In vet medicine it is
necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you
not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body. For an example, the
Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead
cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. “Go ahead and do the same
thing,” he told his students . The students freaked out, hesitated for
several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal
opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.
> When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them “The
second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger
and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.”

I can’t imagine what i’d do if that happened to me!  Haha… wow.

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If you think English is too hard… Try some Euro-English

Now if you thought our English Language was hard (or maybe even easy)   take a shot at some Euro-English  

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate spe ling.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.  

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

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The Word “Up”

The word up has a rediculous number of definitions (and for such a small word). If someone who didn’t speak the english language was trying to learn the word “up” they’d have a.. fun time?

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the
officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. UP about UP
! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUPUP. UP.UP, for now my time is UP, so……..it is time to shut UP!

We seem to be pretty mixed

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things

When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it

Oh . . . one more thing:


What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
U-P

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